Tuesday, September 21, 2021

Monstrosity - Mondopiece Theatre

Two months of Halloween starts with a comedy review of an Andy Milligan film. Mere mention of the dreaded one's name should let you know what you are in for -- except -- this one is a horror *comedy*. Yup. Buckle in.

Part 1 of the 2021 Halloween season!

Wednesday, September 8, 2021

Fresh Fruit - Hair Mistress (Song 1984)

Hair Mistress is an unknown hair metal band from 1984, who had it's entire history buried by the record companies for "rocking too hard." Unreleased for over three decades, their single "Fresh Fruit," taken from their album Spontaneous Hair Combustion, is about sweet, sexy love in a grocery store (which was evidently stocked with euphemisms.) Prepare to be rocked too hard. #hairmetal #metal #1984

working days, working nights,
I'm your shelf stocking guy
going go meet my girl by the pot pies
when she goes dancing you know I can't resist her
in her work t-shirt through the produce mist-ers

sexy at the register
we can't stay apart
thanks to the seatbelt
woah in the cart

Fresh Fruit always in stock
over by the melons and the hamhocks
Fresh Fruit ripe for the pickin'
scan my cucumber the price is finger lickin'

there's a sale in the store,
seeing who will come
when we got a price check over by the hot dogs and buns

when she calls a clean up,
you know that just everything stops
she brings the bucket and I bring my dripping mop

cruisin' down the isle
in my flame-decaled souped up grocery cart
there she is, by the melons shaking her jello and melting the ice cream pops
yeah she's gripping the pricing gun
giving discounts, marking things off, and taking things off