With just a hint of lime!
This 60s nudie cutie short involves the miracle drink Instant Orgy, which isn't instant and doesn't result in an orgy, but you're reading this and I'm watching it so let's all suck it up for the holidays, all right?
I'm sorry, I'm a little out of sorts, because I've been to six stores already and not a single one stocks Instant Orgy, and am getting sick of clerks giving me the stink eye when I ask if it comes in bulk.
Behold the WOOD! I'm surprised the lampshade's not made of it!
Here's our cast of
boobs characters. I should note, for purist -- you exist, right? -- there's a little subplot which barely ties in -- if you squint and continually hit yourself in the head with a mallet while watching it. So let's skip that.
Here we have out ladies group meeting, and they are discussing what to do with the extra money from their fund drive. Giving it to needy children is approved. The director of this short seemed to have a fetish for wood panelling and riveting fund raising discussions.
By the way, a black lamp shade? Isn't that a bit counter productive?
He already used the instant ugly curtains.
Luckily, our unseen hand of orgy enters the scene and spikes the punch, which seems to be composed of some sort of CHUD squeezings plus a couple pieces of rancid snake sections.
Was there a sale of big, gaudy, white bows?
Uh oh, I sense zany antics and/or and orgy approaching!
Our leader doesn't drink any because she states that she is on a diet. This is so, later on, she can go "girls, girls, what are you doing!" as if it wasn't immediately recognizable that they are partaking in an instant orgy (it's not.)
Take in a little light reading before the orgy.
Our tainted CHUD juice begins to have an effect. The women start to get hot, feel great, and then get immediately nauseous when they see the curtain print has somehow transferred to the couch.
After a little stripping, one of the women says "turn on the radio", and before you can say "generic 60s rockabilly/surf guitar" the orgy starts.
Actually, all they do is go-go dance for 5 minutes. With all the books around, you think somebody would have looked up the definition of the word "orgy." Also, get a refund for your bottle of instant orgy, it's expired.
Dance the panelling away!
Our first dancer looks remarkably like Flo from the Geico commercials. Rule 34, people! Quite fetching in her tiger stripe panties or possible just a weird place she stores her fruit stripe gum.
It's a hat-optional orgy.
You on the left, if you are going to be in a short called Instant Orgy, leave the granny panties behind. It doesn't matter if it's mesh, it's still granny panties. You're ruining the fun for everybody, especially Cheech Wizard on the right.
Left to Right: Adorable stripper, haughty stripper.
They're so cute! I just want to give them lots of hugs, and then not open my door so I won't get served the lawsuit papers.
The complete selection of panties available in the 60s.
Instant Orgy juice: used before the invention of 20 year olds, clubs, and booze, and seemingly less effective. Progress marches on!
See everybody next year!