Friday, October 24, 2014

Halloween 2014: Skeletons are Jerks, Day 24

Day 24

There was a near riot at the venue when the bride removed her veil.

Groom thought, "eh, she's still got a nice rack" and the wedding went on as planned, except when he tried to push the cake into her face, half of it got stuck in the eye sockets and the rest just goo-ed out of the jaw holes like a really low budget play doh mold.

Still, nice rack.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Halloween 2014: Skeletons are Jerks, Day 23

Day 23

Some skeletons are ashamed of how renowned skeletons are for being jerks.  So much that they try to hide that they are a skeleton.  Pro tip: Layers of pudding on top of layers of mashed potatoes isn't fooling anybody.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Your Final Answer, Episode 8

This week's question reveals the evil intent of an insidious organization, and forces the Reaper to run to his safe house with only Sir Paw Paw MC Floppy Ears and a delicious bowl of Count Chocula!  Will he survive?  Please do not tell anyone the shock ending, or else they might realize it's not really that shocking ...

Your Final Answer [Episode 8]

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Halloween 2014: Skeletons are Jerks, Day 22

Day 22

You wouldn't think a peeping tom skeleton could be a good thing, would you?  Well, let's put it this way, there's something a peeping tom skeleton is unable to do, and because of that, nobody will have to spray down the bushes tomorrow.

If I need to write a heavy metal song, I already have the first verse:

Here's to Horror,
Carnival of Death!
Doomed to Live Forever,
The Devil's Store!

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Halloween 2014: Skeletons are Jerks, Day 21

Day 21

The Dead Don't Sleep!

The dead also don't take showers.  And they love hugs.  Group hugs.

Adventures into Terror isn't hyperbole!

Monday, October 20, 2014

Halloween 2014: Skeletons are Jerks, Day 20

Day 20

At first glance, this seems to be a very helpful skeleton.  He's bringing a shovel to help that guy dig!  Sounds great, right?

Except that skeleton is only bringing his own shovel to tell the guy how to dig, and to demonstrate it.  He's the most jerky type of skeleton of all: the known-it-all skeleton.  That guy is in for a 20 minute lesson on shoveling and then 3 hours of disapproving looks.

That's being a jerk!

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Halloween 2014: Skeletons are Jerks, Day 19

Day 19

Somewhere, in this world, there's somebody that saw this cover and formed a fetish, and now that guy is suffering beyond belief, because he's looking for a woman with:

1. snake fingers
2. skull butt
3. hair made by gluing together various cat hairballs

He's written one letter per day to internet advice columnists!