Thursday, September 18, 2014

Your Final Answer, Episode 4

The Reaper gets an interesting but vague question, and uses it as a springboard to basically piss off the viewer, characters from famous literature, and somebody he really shouldn't have.

Your Final Answer [Episode 4]

As before, please tell your friends, share it, and leave comments -- we need questions for further episodes!  Like the FB page or the youtube channel to see further updates.  Thanks for watching!

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Spooky Stripping, Part 2

Our next spooky stripping happens in a sprawling, ancient and crumbling castle, and, lucky for us, not by a sprawling, ancient and crumbling stripper.

It's the scariest castle on the train set.

Many a 1:87th HO scale model plastic human has met his grisly demise in that castle, or on the tracks of the quaint model railroad that runs around it.  Legends of the terror within make many a plastic human get into their slot cars and never look back.

All this hair makes me tired.

Here our pretty heroine gets ready for bed.  Her night gown is a little disheveled because her normal bedroom procedure consists of:
  • 45 minutes of hair styling
  • 1 hour and 20 minutes of lacquering the wood
  • 15 minutes of tying up the 92 curtains that make up the bed
You can see why she has little time left for night gown adjustment.

Vampire or rabbit-man?

The vampire patiently waits until after she's done buffing the banisters, his two prominent fangs and/or left-over halloween candy corn glistening in the light ...

You're using the bed wrong!

I'm always amazed when a segment in a nudie cutie film fails to live up to the most simple of goals -- a woman stripping.  Here we have a woman with restless leg syndrome rolling around on the bed for a minute, while a cartoonish vampire looks on.  It's not nude, it's not cute, and it's not stripping, and the vampire is about as frightening as The Count from Sesame Street.

It fails at all possible angles, unless you're in it for polished wood banisters.  Than it's a 4-star short!

I'm in what movie?

The vampire strikes!  The woman is left in gap-jawed fear that looks remarkably like the same look as when she was over-charged at the CostCo.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Spooky Stripping, Part 1

Welcome to the most Halloween-ie of painfully un-sex-ie and outright quaint-ie usage of words ending with "ie", as in, i.e., the missing clips from the Parade's review of Sexy Proibitissimo, all having to do with dark and scary things that go bump, and probably a grind or two, in the night.

Tonight at the Tiki Lounge: Lady with big pile of fake red hair!

Our dancer has a spider-related act, and I hope for the good of the ham sandwich I just ate that it's a goofy fake web and not spinneret's in her butt.

Why, this web is not sticky at all!

Here our lovely lady tests the tensile strength of the web, to see if it will handle the various bottles, salt shakers, tiki candle holders, and plates of food soon to be sailing her way when her act completes.  It's not that people don't like her act, it's just that she's so convincing that they think she's a real spider.  A spider with boobs.  At least that what she tells her therapist.

Do these casting shadows make me look wrinkly?

The 60s were the reverse 80s -- the breasts were real, but the hair wasn't.  Here is the moment our hot dancer regrets using the floor to enhance her sexy dance, as the floor itself was already enhanced with the various amounts of food spilled from the waiters having to bring the plates down those stairs.

This restaurant was really not well planned out.

Rod Serling and Jane Fonda!

Why this scene is in here is anybody's guess, but this couple seemed to have stumbled in from the set of an old Hawaii 5-0 episode.  Any minute now either gun fire or fists are going to break out, and somebody will end up having smuggled opium into the state by tainted hair gel.

Absolutely not a wig.

This goes to prove that no matter how classic a movie was -- the original or the re-make of The Fly, you can always find an ending that improves it!

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Your Final Answer, Episode 3

Episode 3, and the Reaper uses this week's question as a springboard to show a promotional video for his rather dubious business venture.  Also feature the introduction of "The Beast" and all his banana-related problems. 

Your Final Answer [Episode 3]

Please watch, share, and comment with questions for future episodes!  Help spread the word, and maybe the Reaper will have pity on your soul, or he might just be less snarky when he drags you off to the underworld.

Monday, September 8, 2014

Unknown Comics 12

Another spooky unknown comic, this comic was a promotional item from when a manufacturer of pot pies joined up with a local spa.  I told you it was scary, didn't I?  Get ready to massage as many pot pie related jokes out of this single page as you can.

(click to read)

Scan from The Bloody Pulp.

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Unknown Comics 11

For Halloween unknown comics delivers a horror themed comic about the break-up of a famous show business act whose name I can't be bothered to look up.  It's gruesome in it's detail of both the horrible fight and the terrible, oh so terrible, pun-ing.

(click to read)

Scan from The Bloody Pulp.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Your Final Answer, Episode 2

It's the second episode of Your Final Answer, and this time our grumpy grim reaper answer a question of amazing scientific consequences for humanity.  Or at least tries, except he gets interrupted by a surprising and somewhat surprised guest star.

This guest star will for sure be the talk around water coolers by tomorrow, that is if absolutely nothing exciting whatsoever happens between now and the morning.

Your Final Answer [Episode 2]

Please, SHARE and LEAVE QUESTIONS in the comments of the video, or here, or just write them on the back of a turtle and tell it to find me.  We need questions for further episodes, and with one a week for the next two months, that's a lot of ... well, just 6 more actually ... questions!