Candy of Shame Halloween 2026

Don't worry kids, I ate the witch! She tasted like chalk!

Candy of Shame Halloween 2026

Alternate take for Halloween 3: Season of the Witch.

Candy of Shame Halloween 2026

I'll give them credit for all the ways they package it, but I'm still not eating candy made primarily out of leaves.

Candy of Shame Halloween 2026

After only 5 or 6 Rheingold's, paper-hat-witch-pumpkin starts whispering on how to get rid of that lazy husband: "Kill him with my nose, then eat it, it's the perfect crime!"

Candy of Shame Halloween 2026

This year, I'm handing out candy bars the size of a brick.

Candy of Shame Halloween 2026

When you've run out of candy and don't want to admit it, so you pull out the cereal your kid won't eat because it has a serial killer clown on it. Also, might contain SUGAR, possibly. Two months of halloween starts today!