Mundane Monsters Halloween 2025

 Zombie signs up for a rope course class.

Zombie Unhappy In Love

We need to talk.

Honey, you're my man and I love you, but you are too thin.  I'm telling you this for you own good.

A man can only be attractive when he's got some weight on his body, and some extra mass on his brraaaiiinnnnssss.  Being thin is no good; you don't feel right to hug and, frankly, you run too fast.

No, please listen.  I'm telling you this because I love you and your braaaiiiinnnssss!

I think a week or two of heavy eating and lounging around will solve this problem.  Feel free to sleep on my couch (the one with the straps); you are safe to close your eyes and not be on high alert.  Being stressed just makes you lose weight, so leave the shotgun and/or axe at home!

I love you, dear, and I only want what's best for your brraaaaiiinnnnssssss!

Zombie Seeks Man

Brainssssssssss!

SGFZ (Single Gray Female Zombie) seeks living man.

I'm looking for a man who will take me for long walks on the beach and is chivalrous enough to chase the crabs that scurry off with the toes I leave behind.  One who likes to snuggle, but not hard enough to squeeze the gelatinous puss out of the gaping holes in my decaying skin.  One who wants to plant gentle kisses on my nose socket.

Men who want me just for my body need not apply!

Likes?  Brianssssssss
Dislikes: Men who run
Last Book Read: Four Color Fear
Last Movie: Brainssss!   Brains make the pain go awwwwaaaayyyyy!