* say in a 1920s gangster voice for full effect.
Halloween 2013 Lesser Candy Round-Up!
These healthy and delicious treats have that great natural flavor with barely the faintest hints of steel and shrieking pain. A Halloween staple for many years, these candies impart their beautiful red color into your tongue in the form of many fine slivers of bleeding cheek flesh.
Another staple of really, really cranky old people, popcorn balls are not only tasty but good for you -- well, as long as you happen to be TrapJaw.
Otherwise, it's best to chew gingerly or just hand it off to a cow that has magnets in its stomach.
Made in the finest vats of secret government re-animation juice, candy corn is aged to perfection right along side the putrefaction of you army-regulation slime-man zombie. Guaranteed not to convert you into a flesh craving dead thing; shamble into the nearest government office for a refund and complementary brain if not satisfied.