Simon Bar Sinister here, with another apathetic movie review.
I've got a lot of important things to do -- destroying the world, jamming my boot up Underdog's butt, and crackling madly. I don't really have the time to write content on this nickle-and-dime blog. Gumba, though, who is next in line to taste the bite of my death ray, demands that I write a movie review.
I'll review Batman: The Dark Knight Rises.
I haven't seen it. Won't see it. Haven't even watched the trailer. I do not have the time to watch some strange medieval epic where knights rise up -- from what, bed? -- to fight men riding bats. While I know most movie goers are not physicists -- unlike myself -- I think it would be hard for even those nitwits to think a bat could carry a grown man.
And this all happens in the dark? Didn't the knights just get up from bed? This movie gives me a headache and that is a "pleasure" usually reserved for Polly Purebred's endless journalistic questions! Well played, strange knight/bat movie. Well played.
You are now 3rd on my list for the death ray.