Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Simon Bar "Cinema"

Simon Bar Sinister here, with another apathetic movie review.

I've got a lot of important things to do -- destroying the world, jamming my boot up Underdog's butt, and crackling madly.  I don't really have the time to write content on this nickle-and-dime blog.  Gumba, though, who is next in line to taste the bite of my death ray, demands that I write a movie review.


I'll review Batman: The Dark Knight Rises.

I haven't seen it.  Won't see it.  Haven't even watched the trailer.  I do not have the time to watch some strange medieval epic where knights rise up -- from what, bed? -- to fight men riding bats.  While I know most movie goers are not physicists -- unlike myself -- I think it would be hard for even those nitwits to think a bat could carry a grown man.

And this all happens in the dark?  Didn't the knights just get up from bed?  This movie gives me a headache and that is a "pleasure" usually reserved for Polly Purebred's endless journalistic questions!  Well played, strange knight/bat movie.  Well played.

You are now 3rd on my list for the death ray.

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