Monday, December 19, 2011

TrapJaw's Thoughts on the Holiday Season

Hey, TrapJaw here.  

It's not often I have guests, and it's even less often that they desire to know my thoughts on the Holiday season.  It's not like I'm not a courteous host; it's not like I haven't laid out a fine spread of Christmas candy, though, admittedly, most of it is smashed as it's relatively difficult putting out candy with a hook for a hand!

I'm not bitter, far from it.  I don't have time to be bitter through the intense pain that rips through my head for every moment of my existence.  What, was that too dark?  Well, excuse me for having a steel trap welded to my jaw!

Wait, don't go!  The holidays ... let me think ... the holidays.  My thoughts on them.  Well, the holidays are a time for giving gifts.  What could I want?  What would be a good gift?  Hmmm ... how about ...  Please -- for the love of all that is good in this world -- fix my jaw!  I feel like a very clumsy tattoo artists left his tattoo gun on high and in my lower mandible!

No, I'm sorry!  Please, you don't understand!  I have a hook, I have a trap jaw, and I have never ending waves of intense, crippling pain!

Fine.  Whatever.  Leave.  Screw you -- I was making pastries, and you don't get any.  More for BeastMan and I!

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