So you want to know my thoughts on the holiday season?
How about instead I tell you a story. In the frozen, deadly landscapes of the north, there lives a beast. A Yeti, by the name of Bumble. Bumble is composed of three things: teeth, claws, and blood-fueled fury. Many have seen this creature. Few have survived.
Bumble shrugs off bullets as you would the rain; Bumble outweighs me by 25 to 1, and is the same in his stature. Mountains shake and avalanches roll when he roars. He eats reindeer whole; no buck is any threat to him, a doe even less so. He is the top of the food chain in at the North Pole, all fear hearing his fearful howling, for it is a sign you will be his next victim.
I should mention one more thing about this spawn of the blackest hell ... I pulled out every one of it's teeth and made it my bitch. It now hangs festive ornaments for me.
So, you still want to bother Hermey with questions? That's what I thought.
Move along now.
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