Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Dissension in the Ranks


I just got an email.


What?  No, I refuse!  No, no no!

This blog wants me to review a 1977 Eurotrash movie called SS Girls.  No!  I'd rather have Underdog punch me so hard I have to wiggle my toes to pee -- and that is something that has actually happened!  It was painful beyond all reasoning and takes at least 6 surgeries to correct -- and I'd rather have that happen again then view even a single frame of what is sure to be a wretched exploitation movie!

No, no no no no no no!  Or Nein for the Nazis in the film, and for the Italians that made it, "Preferisco annegare in un piatto di spaghetti cotti!"  Google translate: making people look both smarter and more buffoonish every day!

Who shall I get to do this?  Who shall be my patsy?


Uh, like, no man.  No way.  Like, nobody clicks on my posts but I don't even hate meesies enough to make them watch this thing!


Actually, I think I was in that one, it was 77 and let's say I don't remember much of that year ... but ... I do have a friend that's eager to please!


A welcome hello to you, my nefarious cartoon-dog adversary!  Big Brain Wonder Woman would enjoy joining your amusement reviewing collective!  Big Brain Wonder Woman has a unusually extreme desire to be appreciated and embraced by others and am willing to view the worst experiences cinema has to offer if it will get me invited to parties as something besides an object of ridicule!


Still worse then getting punched by Underdog!  Now, stupid and witless site administrator, what is my substitute movie to review?

Wait.

Elvira's Haunted Hills?

Noooooooooooooo!

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