Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Hermey Hankers for a Hunk of Cheese

You see, this, this is what I'm talking about.

There seems to be little respect for Hermey on this blog.  A post about "Isis Checking Wikipedia" -- is that even a joke? -- can get multiple hits.  Hermey gets none.

Well, maybe Hermey will have to start doing some hitting of his own.

Those giant pliers?  The ones that could pull the teeth out of a 20 foot snow monster and turn him into a simpering ornament-hanging rug?  They can be used on more than teeth.  For instance, things that could fit into a box, a box that will be mailed back to family members who aren't clicking everyday on every !$!|#^$%*&! Hermey post, Hermey who is a #!%@!% national treasure, a seasonal institution!

An institution is also where they will put what's left of your loved ones as they crack under the pressure of the slow and steady dismembering that'll make the movie Marathon Man look like Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo.

Oh, and smart guy blog writer?  The one that thought a decades old cheese slogan would be funny for a title because it has a bunch of Hs in it?  Yeah, real good funny man.  Ha ha.  You also know what starts with H?  Hospital.  Harsh Hellfire.  And Ha ha.  Keep laughing while you still have teeth.

No comments: