Ariel here with some more relationship advice for the all you unwanted non-princesses out there.
First off, aim lower. Are you a princess? Did you star in two seasons of a Saturday morning cartoon? Does your frilly under-things smell like barbarian sweat? Of course not. I have magic powers. You have 2.5 kids and a TV that is locked onto the Oprah channel.
I say, aim as low as you can, like, say, computer programmer. Or blog writer. Or blog writing computer programmer. Those guys are desperate! I mean, lower self-esteem than you convincing yourself that two sits-up make that cupcake OK. Just repeat these simple phrases over and over to win his heart:
- You've really built up some muscles lifting those comic book boxes!
- The scenarios you've come up with for your Shogun Warriors vs Micronauts action figures is exciting and worthy of a spec script!
- Which character is stronger? Why, it's up to you, dear, you better understand the physics and science involved!
Just be prepared to dress up like Psylocke or me!
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