Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Big Brain Wonder Woman Explains the Higgs Boson

Class is in!  You ruffins and ne'er-do-wells in the back, please place your posteriors into their respective butt recepticles and listen to my lecture!

Undoubtably, many of you lower-evolved primates know, the Higgs Boson has been in the news with much frequency.  Of course, many of you have gathered more thoughts about TV personalities than exciting quantum mechanics, and Big Brained Wonder Woman stopped watching the juxtaposition of video and sound signals as soon after they cancelled Petticoat Junction.

Big Brained Wonder Woman still keeps informed of the various strings of fate that make up the tapestry of our world, getting most of her world event data from the website The Huffington Post.  It seems the world is overrun with the deadly infection called "side boob."

Maybe Big Brian Wonder Woman should try this "side boob", then maybe her male counterparts on the faculty staff no long run in abject terror from her whenever hugging is mentioned.

On what path of informational knowledge was I on?  Oh, yes, the Higgs Boson.  Completely useless for creating interpersonal relationships that seem all the rage with the younger set these days.  As an example, I was talking to Sherry in the lounge and she remembered another emergency to get to (something about her feline choking on a rodent bone) instead of making casual conversation about theoretical particles and boys.

Being that I have total recall, I also know that her feline has had it's wind pipe clogged with a variety of objects this week.  She should find a way to better distribute the items in her environment to stop this from happening, and I will mention that next time I can get a word in between the shrieks.

It seems the time has passed faster than I imagined, but this is only an illusion as time is constant in this frame of space.  We'll pick up where we left off, on the Higgs Boson and my tiara crushing loneliness!

Read chapter 5 for tomorrow!

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