Stripping through the Graveyard: The Orgy of the Dead Mega Review, Part 8

What is this?  Read this: Simon Bar "Cinema": Orgy of the Dead

08: The Skeleton Dance

Black Ghoul Introduction

The wolf man informs me that the next one is the woman who murdered her husband on their wedding night.  Now she dances with his skeleton!

(How did the wolf man do this, by the way?  He doesn't speak!  To Ed, "continuity" probably only sounded like a cool world to use for a sci-fi picture title.)

Ed Wood Crazy Talk Grade: D
Skeleton Scores with a Stripper Count: 2

Sexiness

Check this list for things you might find sexy:

• Two mounds of Jello on the hood of a truck driving down a dirt road
• The blob meets another blob, they wrestle
• Two naked and fat cats tumbling in a dryer

If you answered yes to any of these, then this is the stripper of the night.  Her entire act revolves around finding different ways to make her boobs shake violently.  Mimic swimming?  Works!  Signaling where the plane can land?  Great!  Epileptic seizure?  Jiggly!

If anybody wants to know what go-go dancing looked like, and how it could be made very, very silly, here's something to tie them up, Clockwork Orange style, and make them watch.  They will thank you for it by cursing you and all your descendants.

Grace

There's none.  It's the most binary, mechanical dance of the night.  Go watch a video of how pistons work in a car if you are curious!

Closeness to Theme

A plain white dress that looks nothing like a wedding dress and a veil.  The veil stays, the wedding dress disappears, much like a regular wedding night sans the skeleton, Crepe-Hair Werewolf™, Icky ICU Mummy™, Criswell's drunk smile, and the Black Ghoul's boobs.

Kind of like a wedding in Vegas.

Music

Starts out by what sounds mysteriously like the modern "bride" music in the Haunted Mansion, and then segues* into Laugh-In style go-go music.

* Segue means "abruptly stops and suddenly starts", right?

The staring piece and the Haunted Mansion piece are pretty cliche, so it's doubtful there's a connection, but it just entertains me to think there might be, as the Disney story is also that the bride is a black window.  Bring that up with a host next time you are at DisneyLand, they will appreciate your bit of historical guess work from a low-budget blog.  Trust me, they are paid to be interested!

Length of Act

5 minutes.  The music wraps up, Criswell nods his head, the skeleton gets another kiss (skeleton's have all the luck), then ... another minute!  A strip act with a false ending!  Was this movie edited by somebody with blackouts and memory lapses, or just Ed Wood?