Monday, August 20, 2012

Sadomasicist Nurse Visits The Fair

Parking lot of the defunct K-mart, here we come!

There's nothing I like more than the smell of cotton candy, the taste of elephant ears, and the stinging cries of my clients as my tortures bring them pleasure beyond comprehension ... and those rubber duck games.  Those are a lot of fun!  As a bonus, nothing brings more pain then spending a couple of bucks and getting a pathetic blow up doll, except, of course, the bout of hepatitis from the rancid sewer water those ducks are floating in.

Better yet, nothing helps my business more than the hail of deadly projectiles being flung from each mechanical death trap euphemistically called "rides."  There's the toboggan ride, or more faithfully know as the "hair munching scalper", the ferris wheel or the "twist ties are just as strong as bolts" and the haunted house, or "if you are scared by the sound of air pistons, then this is the ride for you!"

Oh, and the food!  Breading, or "play dough plus paint chips", is the basis of almost every food stuff, not counting the cotton candy which is made of recycled insulation plus a hint of cobwebs.  Throw on sugar and/or dried and flaked duck pond water, and you've got a meal worthy of the hell food truck.

Well, back to work, it looks like we have a bunch of cases of the fair plague!

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