Thursday, August 2, 2012

Bardos Metal Mania: KISS: Who Wants to be Lonely

Bardos, mascot of the the most metal band ever, Access Violate, will take your hand and drag you straight to hell where they play some of the best metal videos of the 80s!

Who Wants To Be Lonely

Most Questionable Wardrobe Choice

Evidently Paul had to find something appropriate to wear as he had to try out for Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat at 7, and then Rocky Horror Picture Show at 8.

The pink rubber-fringe gloves was a personal choice that reflects both the majesty of KISS and the need to keep his hands smooth and silky while doing the dishes.

Hottest Chick

Gene, hands down.

There's about 8 bottles of vaseline on that lens.  All from Gene's private stock.  He has a plenty left.

Best Dance Moves

Dance: "The not well rehearsed vinyl robot"
Choreography: A drunken and slightly brain damaged mongoose
Costume: The Home Depot Summer '86 PVC Collection
Pawing: Gene Simmons

Lyrics That Should Have Been Slept On

Who wants to be lonely?
All by yourself!
Who wants to be lonely?
Earwwahh wahh Eeeeahh wahhh ha wahhh*

* Sort of how I imagine a drowning Captain Caveman would sound.

Guitar Solo

Performed by "Not Ace."  Less booze, less interest from me!

Sexiest Moment

Stage Hand: Should we tell the models that we're going to spray them?
Director: Nah, chicks are hotter when surprised!

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