Love: A Many Snark-ied Thing Part 8

Oh, the jokes, they write themselves.

"Men were my Toys!" ... and there was a sale on at the navy dock!  The ladies that let just about any guy hike up their pants around them -- especially the ones keeping ninja throwing stars in their jacket pocket and look like they've just downed an entire bottle of nyquil -- are the kind of women you want to stay away from.

How can you be sure that a women is this kind of hussy -- to stay away from, right?  We're clear on that, right?  It's easy, there's an obvious clue.  Any woman that matches her scarf, her earrings, and her bracelet with her phone is for sure easy.  If she's not talking on the phone, there's one other clue -- check to see if she glued centipedes to her eyes.