Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Flipping Through Fredrick's 73, Part 1

Fredrick's of Hollywood, a name that carries the grand tradition of frilly sexy things -- things that look a lot better on the internet models than they do on my 200 pound Labrador Retriever.  Don't judge me!

Anyway, 1973 was a different time, and a different Fredricks.  Still looks bad on a large dog, but it's a lot less sexy and a lot more "smoking by the dumpster behind Studio 54."  Let's take a look!

Our first white-haired goddess is nearly 13 feet talk, and 90% of that is bell bottoms.  She has a pose that is half Southern charm and half leave-the-money-on-the-dresser.  She wearing something made out of pounded copper by the finest shoe making elves, have of which turned dark green from copper poisoning.

Our next model is a ribless version of Marie Osmond.  A bold, complicated and bright print says "I spill a lot of things on my dress and now nobody knows."  Her boobs are separated more than humanly possible -- but since she's a 22 foot tall demonic monster -- nobody complains.  For long.

Put your hands together for the first lady of country, Miss Dolly Parton, ladies and gentlemen!  She's got something in her right eye and she by mistake wore a box instead of panties.  The show will be momentarily delayed.  You, old guy in the back, sit down, we will get to "9 to 5."

Do you think the artist liked to draw butts?

This was the newest technology for 1973, a dress that was held up specifically by jamming a yard of fabric up your ass crack and squeezing for the evening.  If somebody on the dance floor asks why you are so tight-assed, well, you've got a ready made zinger.   Or you could just unclench and see what happens, it was 1973, after all.

(Special thanks to my pal Karswell and his blog and everything else too, for whom I got the original scans.)

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