Sunday, July 7, 2013

It's Getting Nearly Impossible to Find Honest Prostitutes!

My father, Pope Alexander VI, demands the most honest whores!

You think with my position as Cardinal Cesare Borgia I'd have a little more leeway with the ladies of the night.  Is it the chestnut thing that scares them away?  Look, I already said I'd do away with the various melons and stick with chestnuts!  I've even put the ping pong balls away!  How can we have a good male distance and quantity contest if no hookers sign up?  Well, let's see what we have.

No.  Good lord above and bad one below, No.  No no no.

Too stab-y.

Too recycled from previous posts.

Too zap-y.

Too granny-panty ... er ... y.

Just right!

Honestly, you think all this money and killings so somebody could be pope would lead to better whores.  What's the 1500s coming too?

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