Thursday, December 19, 2013

The Parade's Second Anniversary

What is it that you get for your second anniversary?  Loose sand?  Corroded staples?  Not sure.

Over these two years and 295 posts I like to think I've gotten better at this comedy blog thing, but you can only judge your performance by the accolades of your fellow bloggers.  Let's see what they have to say:

Sadomasicist Nurse
blog: The Chalky Mistress

I was once hired by -- I find it hard to say -- "writer" of this blog.  He cried like a little baby, and those clips weren't even the ones I keep in the freezer.

That said, I can wholeheartedly recommend this blog for the exquisite pain it creates just from merely stumbling upon it while doing a google search for "monsters kill naked chicks."*

* This is true.  Scary.  But true!

blog: The Wondrous Smell of Burnt Fur

Site not banana.  Site no good.

Big Brain Wonder Woman
blog: Your Pathetic Small Brains Couldn't Hope to Match the Multitude of Clever
Names I Had for My Blog so Instead I Just Used This Descriptive Narration as
it Will Certainly be Easier for Someone of Your Reduced Mental Capacity to Parse
into Coherent Thoughts.  Thank You.

Greetings internet browsers.  Somebody from a low-rent and frankly below my notice blog has asked the most intelligent creature existing on this planet for a review of said comedic material.  It seems much comedy rests on the repeated nature of stilted-speech-run-on-sentences from an incredibly silly concept from a 70s Super Friends cartoon.  I do not find this humorous.

One hopes that the author of this pile of drol words on the world wide web will not discover the Super Friends episode where Dracula uses his before-hand unknown eye-beam power to turn Superman into a vampire.

Yes, there was, indeed, a worse concept than a hyper-evolved big brain Wonder Woman.  Now stop laughing at my head, the tiara still fits!

Robot Monster
blog: At What Point on the Graph do "Must" and "Cannot" Meet?

Like non-Ro-man ChimChim, Ro-man is also disturbed by distinct lack of bananas.  Ro-man is superior intellect from planet Ro-man, not sure why bananas so important.  Must request instructions from Ro-man command.

Received instructions: Can not recommend.  Ro-man command notes humor relies on pop-culture references from 50 years ago.  Even to Ro-man, who is not Hu-man, understands this bad idea.

Also: Lack of bananas appalling.

blog: Who-hoo!  A Wolf!

Granda's still here, still wet, still wild, and still booty-poopin', though that pop might be my femur popping out of my hip-socket!  I'd recommend this blog but then I'd have to read it and Grandma just doesn't have the time!  There's surely some lonely wolf out there that needs some loving, some squeezing, and a free coupon for an erotic sponge bath!  I've already got the sponge and the plastic tub!


Again, as with last year, my thanks to the blogs out there that are run by my pals, especially Matt over at Dinosaur Dracula who -- and I'm sure he can't get enough of me saying this -- had a quitting spell that got me back into comedy blogging.

Of course, thanks to all the people that tune in and read the blog.  It's why I do it!

Here's to another year of crappy 60s nudie films and snarky comic covers!


Helping Hand said...

Here's to many (three) more!

Kurton said...

Was there not a much earlier previous incarnation of Parade of the Horrorables hosted somewhere else? I remember seeing it a long time ago but it wasn't on blogspot. Or i'm thinking of something else entirely. Anywho, congrats on the Brianiverse's Blogiversary, here's to another 700 years of glamorous content preserved for generations to come... by space porcupines!

Brian Barnes said...

Kurton, there was -- it was just on some of my old personal space a long, long, long time ago. Over a decade ago, in the very early period of the web. It was just as head-shaking then, and I retain the tradition!