There's a lot of Manos: The Hands of Fate in this thing.
There's also a lot of women in bikinis dancing to lounge music, sets more plastic than a 90s porn star, and a bathtub full of fake blood. That's a lot to take in, so let's get started!
I think you're doing the copyright wrong.
Note to self: If I decide to repackage an exploitation film to find a wider audience, I might want to think about adding new title card. Even back then, in 19-six-she's-and-a-he. I'm surprised they managed to get the "c" right in the middle of the copyright symbol, and not "g" or "u" or "blargh."
Here's our hero, crash landed in the sea from either a rocket (if you believe the opening narration) or from a B-29 (if you believe the hero's narration.) It's the movie equivalent of a "Choose your own Adventure" book, but with more bikinis.
That jump suit is wet in very inappropriate places.
The women that drag our hero off the beach are called -- I kid you not -- Aphrodite, Eros, Pantora, and ... Rebecca.
Our hero's name is -- I also kid you not -- Fred Rogers.
Nooooooooo Mister Greenjeans!
Fred gets his first taste of how men are treated on this island, and I assume it just confuses him because a comic book ad mask covered in red paint doesn't quickly translate to a set of rules and regulations.
Ancient wonder or the pool at the local Motel 6?
Our sexy overlord is Aphrodite, who says numerous times that Fred will "intimately know the stick." This is what she uses to keep men and certainly pesky cats in line.
Our hero notes that "no woman could have built this structure" right in front of a woman threatening to hit him with a stick for the crime of being a man. Instead of a much deserved thrashing, she just agrees with him, and then notes he's going to be worked to death.
Somebody got in the last word!
Swan Lake: The Dumpy Version
And what do these terrifying she-wolves do next? Why, the first of many, many, sweet-Jesus-take-me-home-now dance numbers. They are about as sexy as you'd assume, and that's without the thrashing stick.
I love films where women who have supposedly never seen a man still dress like sex kittens. Great fantasy! I should know, I had that same fantasy many times.
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