It seems none of you followed my previous advice because I'm completely swamped with barbarians! I'm telling you, it sounds like a dream but my couch smells like Ben-Gay and there's Mok hair everywhere!
What does it take to shape you ladies up? Isn't there enough beautiful skin-tight leather-wearing magical princesses out there to take some of these hulking piles of muscle off my hands? Yes, I know a lot of you thought you were that, but you're not 5 now, are you? Barbarians rescue 5 year olds, they don't date them!
Take yesterday, I'm having lunch with Tyar the Barbarian, and suddenly Uulta the Barbarian shows up, seems he left his Sea Sword at my house. Then, Tyar, the idiot, puts his Flame Sword next to it and the whole house fills with steam! I rushed both of them out of there and said I don't want to ever see them or their flea-infested not-wookie Moks!
So, ladies, get on the ball. Please!