Monday, July 28, 2014

The Spaghetti Strip: Sexy Proibitissimo, Part 3

It new to this series, start here.

In this segment of Sexy Proibitissimo, we see the slightly biblical story (Salome or the dance's name are never mentioned) of Herod and Salome, and the Dance of the Seven Veils.  In this movie, the Dance of the Seven Veils leads to sparkly panties and boobs.

In Christian tradition, it leads to the head of John the Baptist.

John the Baptist really got the raw end of that deal!

It's either a stripper or the Ghost of Christmas Future.

Herod is wondering why that magnificence soup catcher isn't enough to get the ladies without a royal decree.  Is he storing the wrong type of soup?  Is the pea soup old enough?  Is the layer of slimy and stringy grease not thick enough?

Damn it, does the man need to eat calm chowder?  He didn't grow that beard for nothing!

Fabric by the yard on sale at the local stripper store.

It's like an ad for weight loss!  Last year, my stripper pants were this big!

Stretch Monster pasties were directly from the biblical accounts.

Suddenly, the movie becomes a nature documentary as Herod feeds the starving Salome by letting her suck the pea soup out of his beard.

If you need a lay down after that, I'll still be here.

There's 82 lights in this scene and it still looks like the inside of a barrel.

Now we are doing some Hercules motif, in Hercules most insidiously hard labor, the pumping of the biceps while lady dances around with urn on incredibly fake set.

Note that in this entire segment, nobody takes off a single piece of clothes.  In a stripping movie!  Now, I assume, for the vast majority of people, taking off clothes is something they can do.  Athletic stripper dancing?  A lot harder, but we all have the ability to take off our clothes, which means this segment failed at the easiest part of stripping!

One for the ladies (I have those in my readership, right?)

If that dude sucks in that stomach anymore, his intestines are going to fly out of his back like a party streamer popper.

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